Natalie's thoughts about Justin & Palmetto
by JustAidenGreenaconfusedgirl
Summary: Have you read "The Betrayal of Natalie Hargrove" also by Lauren Kate? Whether you have or haven't give this a read and let me know what you think. If you love the "Fallen" books and haven't read this book, I highly recommend it :


It all started that day he confronted me. That one day in the hallway was the day that I fell for him. It was the first day for me at Palmetto and I was trying to act like I belonged there. It was hard because not only was I a new face to them all I was also in a completely different class. I grew up on the other side of the bridge and was the daughter to a drunkard and a whore. This was my chance to change who I was and I was all too willing for this opportunity. I just hoped I didn't stand out too much and looking back I guess I stood out a little too much. At least to one person I did. My mother moved to the other side of the bridge because my father died and she had met this new guy. I was mad at first but then thinking it over I figured this would be for the better. My chance to start anew, my chance to be that someone I always wanted to be.

I was trying to find my way to my first class and almost ran into him. I nervously said I was sorry and stood there, taken aback by the fact that I knew that face. He was just standing there with his friends, leaning against the lockers. His friends started to laugh and tried to cover it by coughs but I could see through them. He looked at me then at his friends and laughed. Then he did a double take and that is when I looked away. He was still as gorgeous as the day I first met him if not more so. It was then that he narrowed his eyes asked, "Do I know you?" In my head I was screaming yes but out loud I said nothing but shake my head, act like someone else caught my attention, and run off. I could hear the guys burst into laughter as I quickly turned the corner towards a deserted hallway. Of course there was no one else, I was new, I didn't know anyone at this school. I don't even know why I ran away from the first person I recognized. I just couldn't let him know it was me that night long ago on the boat. That it was me, who was standing there naked, exposed to the world. He couldn't know that I was the one that he briefly wanted and then soon rejected. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of breaking my heart again. If he hadn't asked me on the first day of school I might have answered differently. If he had asked me today I might say yes, but then again maybe not. I know I am a different person now but just the thought of it brings redness to my cheeks. I wanted to say yes to him and run to him like they do in the movies but I couldn't bring myself to do such an act.

Maybe it is the fact that I have a boyfriend and if I wanted to stay in the social class that I am in, dating a King would keep me there. If it wasn't for Mike, I don't know where I would be right now. I would be literally a no one. I definitely wouldn't be the girl everyone knew by name. Everyone dreams of dating a football player in high school and I am lucky enough to be living that dream. Maybe all of these thoughts are just a result of the stress of campaigning for Princess. Yes that had to be it; it was all from lack of sleep. So every time I saw him in the hall I would turn and go the opposite way. I know this sounds sad but it really is for the better. My mother would be happy about me dating Justin and I would be happy but I just can't bring myself to confront him. I will confront him tomorrow; yes that is what I will do. At the end of the day I will walk right up to him and ask him if we can talk. I knew I would be risking it all just to talk to him. He wasn't low class, I mean he did attend Palmetto and that is not just a school for anyone. He was popular that is for sure but he wasn't Mike. Now I love Mike I really do but some days I just think what would Justin and I be doing right now. Justin is so much more adventurous. Justin is so much more fun. Justin is just so much more.

I want him to be mine; I secretly hope he and I will be Palmetto's Prince and Princess. I want him and me in the carriage ride. I just want him and me together. We would be the perfect couple; everyone would envy us and want a relationship just like ours. And I would be ever so happy. But then there is Mike. What would I tell him? He would be crushed I couldn't break his heart. We have been dating all through high school. It is kind of already destined for us to go to the same college, get married and live in a little house after high school. I have had this plan in my head for as long as I could remember. All that would change the minute I talk to Justin. Or would it? I mean I don't even know what his feelings are towards me. He is always so flirty but does that really mean anything? I like to think that it does, I like to think that he stares at me across the room when I am not looking just like I do with him. But then there is the other side of me that thinks he doesn't even care and just wants to know if I was that virgin from the boat that one night. It is slowly killing me inside not knowing how he feels about me but it also might kill me if I did know.


End file.
